30 Before 30 List - daniela carolina

My realistic 30 before 30 list of goals I want to accomplish before turning 30

It’s a universal narrative: by the time you hit 30, life should be neatly packaged with a bow on top. For women, this often translates to being blissfully married, nestled in a cosy home with a white picket fence, with little mini-mes running around. Alternatively, it might mean climbing the corporate ladder with finesse, accumulating wealth and assets for a secure future. In either scenario, the underlying expectation is clear – by 30, you’re supposed to have it all together, to be a bona fide “adult.”

Millennials were obsessed with this idea of “adulting” a few years ago. Memes and videos everywhere of us doing simple life tasks and categorizing them as “adulting”. Yes, completely cringe but it was a way of validating and reminding ourselves that we were no longer kids. As I reach the end of my twenties, I can’t help but wonder if I missed the memo on what it actually takes to be “adulting”. The truth is, I’m still grappling with what it means to navigate life and often still look to my parents to make even the simplest of decisions. Marriage, children, homeownership – these milestones feel more like distant dreams than tangible realities.

Reflecting on my mom’s journey at my age, I’m struck by the stark contrast between her life and mine. While she was building a family and laying down roots, I find myself lost and very far from where I thought I would be by now. A quick Google search for “30 before 30” yields a slew of aspirational lists that feel utterly out of reach. “Own a home,” “Become a millionaire,” and “get engaged” – admirable goals, no doubt, but far removed from my current reality. On the flip side, some lists are super vague stating things like “Do some self-reflection” and “break a bad habit”. What does that even mean and how can you feel accomplished without a goal outcome? Don’t even get me started on how many lists say you should run a half marathon. I don’t know when this became a thing, I see many friends turn 30 and all of a sudden want to run. Maybe they’re running away from their problems, I don’t know. I am not and never will be a runner. After reading all these crazy, unrelatable lists it hit me – perhaps it’s time to redefine what success looks like on my terms.

So, here’s my version of goals. Realistic, doable, and will actually make me feel accomplished.

My 30 before 30 list

Get a job. – This one needs to happen sooner rather than later. It doesn’t even need to be my dream job, just a paying job. If you don’t know, the job market right now is rough. Add needing a work permit on top of that and you have a recipe for unemployment stress.
Completely heal my adult acne. – Say it with me: Fuck you birth control pills. Two years off of it and I’m still struggling with the worst acne I’ve ever had. After a year of trying to heal naturally, I’ve succumbed to medication. Spironolactone and Tretinoin, I’m counting on you.
Pay off 25% of my student loans. – Starting with loans from family. And the inevitable monthly repayment loans I have to start paying in October. Manifesting a steady income by then (or a fabulously rich lover, either or is fine).
Find love. – I’ve had fun with single life throughout the entirety of my twenties. And now, I finally feel ready to admit that I want a partner. Being in a relationship by next year is a bit outside of just my control, but I can commit to start dating again. Maybe, go on 30 dates?
Live on my own in a cute studio or one-bedroom apartment. – Roommates have been great, but it’s time for my own space. As simple as that.
Loose 10 kgs. – My relationship with body image has been rocky my whole life. But after all the self-work I’ve done, I want to believe I can manage to get in better shape in a way that won’t fuck up my mental health. It’s more about feeling stronger, fitter and more defined than the actual number on the scale.
Visit 3 new countries. – This one might be a stretch given my budget limitations. However, living in Europe does make it a tad more doable. I’m thinking Croatia, Greece, and Denmark.
Volunteer. – Vague, I admit. I want to make an honest effort to do this, even if it’s just a few times on the weekends or after work. I truly care about many causes, especially those related to women’s empowerment and the environment, so why not do my part where I can?
Have a healthier sleep schedule. – As a recovering MBA student, I don’t even know how to have a healthy sleep schedule anymore. I do know I need a good 8 hours to be energized and absolutely cannot run on 3-4 hours of sleep without wanting to cry by midafternoon.
Cook a new recipe each month. – I have 2 breakfast recipes and 3 lunch/dinner recipes I stick to. I’m bored but also lazy to try new things. I would love the option of a magical pill with all the nutrients I need to simply go about my day without thinking about what to prepare. Since this does not exist, the next best thing is to shake things up with some new go-to’s.
Go to therapy. – I know I need therapy. We all do. In the past budget and/or time limitations have been my excuse. Now it’s time to find a way to make it happen. Period.
Get good at acro yoga. – I mean good like being able to do cools inversions and complex flows. I need to consistently go to a class and people to practice with. Would low-key love a boyfriend who did it with me, just sayin.
Learn to identify and avoid toxic people. – I’ve gotten better at this over the years, especially with people in social settings. I need to work on avoiding toxic men, particularly when I’ve had a few drinks and want attention. Cutting people out of my life who not only don’t add but subtract is a non-negotiable going into my thirties.
Keep a plant alive. – Emphasis on the “a”. I was gifted a plant for my birthday this year, a month in and it’s still alive. My track record with plants however is not great, so I’m hoping this little guy makes it to my next birthday.
Update my wardrobe. – I want to redefine my style based on what’s more flattering for my body type and the energy I’m trying to portray. Still working on what that is exactly, but it’s not my current student vibe in a sunny city.
Embrace my quirks. – Self-growth and self-improvement are great, but there are things about myself that simply need to learn how to love and accept. For example, I’m a high-energy extrovert who has a short social battery life. I’m also probably never going to have thin arms and a flat stomach. Life is too short to be worried about changing these things about myself.
Own my self-worth. – This one is deeply rooted in years of self-doubt and low self-esteem, resulting in searching for validation from others, men in particular. I’ve done and will continue to do a lot of work on myself to fully own and believe in my worthiness every day.
Learn how to properly iron clothes. – I’m embarrassed to say that I can count with my fingers how many times I’ve ironed clothes in my life. And it’s zero times for steaming them. Wrinkled linen is not cute.
Be excited about my career. – This one is different from just getting a job. The whole point of doing an MBA is so that I could choose to have a more fulfilling career. I know the dream job may not come immediately, but I hope that within this next year, I can set up a path that excites me and motivates me.
Read a life-changing book. – TikTok takes up way too much of my free. I want to read a book that changes how I see the world or myself. I want a book that I can reference and sound cultured and sophisticated. A book that I think about years after I’ve read it. Suggestions are welcomed.
Buy a luxury purse. – I’ve always prioritized spending my money on experience rather than material things. However, I do want to start looking (or more like pretending to be) more sophisticated. My best friend got me a luxury wallet for graduation recently, and putting in my Primark bumbag just doesn’t feel quite right.
Get better at wearing heels. – I’m short. Like short short. I love it, don’t get me wrong. High heels were made for people like me, yet I suck at wearing them for extended periods of time. They ruin events and nights out for me. I would love to find a few pairs of heels for different occasions that I can rock for multiple hours at a time. Especially for fancier events.
Be better about staying in touch with extended family. – I’ve lived away from my home country since I was 18 years old. While I visit at least once a year, I feel bad about the lack of communication I have with relatives like my grandparents or little cousins. No more excuses for being too busy to reach out to them.
Learn how to manage my expectations. – I’ve sabotaged myself so many times by setting high or very specific expectations on everything. Yes, it’s good to have goals and desires, but I need to learn how to detach myself from expectations so that I don’t live with anxiety or disappointment from how things turn out.
Regulate my nervous system – My twenties have been filled with many high high and low lows. I feel like I live in a happy, positive mood for the most part but always with my glass emotional glass full to the brim where one extra drop can break me into tears or send me down a spiral. It’s exhausting.
Heal my anxious attachment style. – It seems to be the new therapy buzzword. After multiple podcasts, articles, and TikTok, I’m self-diagnosing myself as someone with an anxious attachment style. Not 100% sure how it started, but I know it’s there.
Learn how to properly cycle sync. – Ever since coming off of oral contraceptive my hormones have been fucked. I’ve recently learned about cycle syncing; basically how to cater your diet, workout and lifestyle around your menstrual cycle and I’m loving it so far.
Make new friends. – I’m super lucky to have close friends from the MBA who also stayed in Spain, however as our futures are still up in the air, I know that friend group will inevitably dwindle in time. I also want to make friends in different circles which would force me to get out of my comfort zone and try new things.
Do a photoshoot with a professional photographer. – I have this idea of doing a full photoshoot every new decade from now on. I’m talking some glamour shots in a studio, maybe even some artsy nude shots. A reminder of my beauty, commemorating who I am at that time.
Be excited about my thirties. – I don’t want to be like Rachel in that episode of Friends who is all sad and dramatic about turning 30. I keep hearing more and more women say how great their thirties are, so I want to start believing it and let go of what my twenties were or were not.

I know this list is very specific to me and may even seem silly to others. I simply hope it inspires you to write your own list of goals. It’s okay if it’s something that you assume your peers are already good at or have already achieved long ago, nothing is too small. It’s better to have a realistic list that you feel you can truly check things off of, than a list that is so far out of reach you feel like a failure in the end. It’s also okay if the list changes and evolves throughout the year. There is no prize medal for achieving everything and there is no shame in missing some things. I’m seeing it as a roadmap for this next year. I’m excited to see where this path takes me and I hope it sparks a sense of excitement and possibility in you too.

Oh, and if you have any suggestions or tips for any of these goals please share them in the comments below.